Damn

I had this really clever post worked out in my head. Thought of it this morning while I was in the shower at the gym.

But then I went to one of my regularly visited blogs and read this post:

I Just Want Your Extra Time and Your Kiss

I think the thing that I like most about the Girl is the way she kisses.

She kisses like we're having an affair.
She kisses like I'm going off to war.
She kisses like she MEANS it.

and everything I was thinking about went out the window.

All I could think was, damn ... I know exactly what he's talking about. And, I wish someone kissed me that way.

Take a nation of sellouts to keep me back

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,061,984

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

Chivalry is dead but you're still kinda cute

Heard from a friend today that I miss. I wouldn't miss him so much if he would have invested in this. Oh, well.

The conversation was comforting considering this (see previous post re: crush).

Alright kids, I've decided - just for this weekend -

Things you must do to make me happy

1. Tell me everything
2. Shut up
3. Be patient
4. Admire my creativity
5. Get some taste

Lite Brite

So, I'm seeing my way out of the fog and I know I'm on my way.

How do I know?

1. I'm in a mood to eat healthy - I'm really getting sick of eating junk food.
2. I'm thinking joking around the office about getting fired is probably a bad idea, unless, I'm fresh (see June 3 entry). So, I'm finding my way back to my kick-ass Sugar Free self.

But, I know I'm on my way back because this morning I was watching tv and caught the new Nelly Furtado video with Timbaland. Love that song!! But, towards the end of the video - my secret crush makes a cameo*! And, if you keep up with important news from Pop Sugar - you know he's got a new album coming out in September.

But even better ... (for someone - likely, not me: fictional lawyer in a fictional state of mind), I get to work and check on the important news of the day and find out that my secret crush has finally tired of that tall skinny thing with bad skin and a history of drug use.

Right, at this very moment ... all is right in my world.

* yes, I know. He is, indeed, my secret crush. And, I am, indeed, a grown ass woman. What can I say? You all have your faults ... this is my one.

She actually said, "the way to a man's heart is through his imagination," but she didn't tell me where I could order him one.

Okay, Sherry you've told Al Roker and the world "Why Men Marry Bitches." ...

I'll write the sequel ... "Why the Men Who Married the Bitches Can't Seem to Eschew Martyrdom" ... or something like that.

Any suggestions for titles?

And, maybe, buy me this ...

for my prozac and xanax

Things You Must Do To Make Me Happy?

1. Take your hands off me.
2. Apologize.
3. Get over yourself.
4. Acknowledge I'm right (mostly).
5. Make up for everything.

Must end my shopping moratorium

Really just shopping for myself (the moratorium, that is).

When I saw this stationary, that I can customize with my likeness ... c'mon now. And, 20% off? Can't pass that up!

More on Mars and Venus Dream Jobs

I think the title of the articles are misleading.

Actually, what the lists should be ... the 10 people you should know well or be BFF with to be able to schmooze and advance in your career.

And, really they could apply to the genders - traditionally but if I'm trying to impress a potential male or female client, a brew master or casino host will always come in handy - as well as a vacation tour director or concert promoter.

Score me some tickets, baby!

Hey, I'm all for Mars and Venus

(Yes, that's a shout out to you)

But, what kind of bullshit is this?

5 Dream Jobs for Men

5 Dream Jobs for Women

I say we make our own list.

Let me go bill some hours at my real deal dream job and I'll follow up.

Things You Must Do To Make Me Happy

1. Get a new personality
2. Float my Boat (that's Boat with a capital "B")
3. Change faster
4. Change your ringtone
5. Decide what's for dinner

Love Match

Who is your celebrity love match?

Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Let me introduce myself ...

... c'mon, you know me.

But you may not know my BFF.

Spicy Chai Latte.

Spicy, for short. And, she is short. But, she's hot. And she's the perfect "S," in profile as she boasts a 32D, naturally. What keeps me from hating her is I have the natural wobble booty, which just can't be contained.

But, put the two of us together ... and we don't f*ck around.

She used to work at my firm as a paralegal ... until she was fired about 4 months ago.

We went to a late lunch today which first consisted of a shared appetizer and water but then turned into perfect margaritas.

Spicy: Did you know I haven't seen the managing partner since he fired me?

Sugar Free: I just gave him a lap dance.

Spicy: Come again?

Sugar Free: He did, twice.

Spicy pours herself another drink.